soldiers of tomorrow!

So Peter put me up at his place for the night and i have pretty much just slept and recovered over the last few days, including today. Tomorrow i will venture forth into that scary city and i will look more into the whereabouts of mr wilmot because it's what i've been hired to do so damned if i'm not going to give it one hundred and three percent!

It is made a little difficult by the fact that i cannot go back to my hotel room because those men might be there again and i also can't go back to my office because of the same reason and you know what's worse is that i can't even get in contact with Kris because i never looked up her address or phone number when she started working with me because i never thought there would be people out there trying to get information from me i never had.

It sure is a strange world sometimes.

It turns out Peter is down here on a scouting trip for Roger because Roger hurt his leg but anyway they were made aware via the language of the clouds that something bad was going down in this city and because Peter was the only person they knew that could get in without being traced (he'd had his human registration chip taken out a few years back) he was the only person capable of getting in and breaking down the system so as to let the helpless and mindless sheep (people) roam free in their chosen grassy field.

Actually the only reason he let me stay with him ('You're of no use to me anymore, muffin boy!' is what he said when he found me in my little cage in the rain) was because i told him i was looking for Turbo and he realised it was a chance to get in contact with Commanding Officer Rumsferrytwinklemans III and get some clearer details on the enemy in these parts.

So tomorrow i will have to continue on to the house where mr wilmot used to live and see if he left in clues for me to follow up.

Hm. I must find a way to get in contact with Kris!

Blake out.

i am not dead but i am tired and hungry and wet and a bit mad...

Things Blake does not like:

- Being kidnapped
- Being tied to chairs and beaten
- Having cold water thrown at him at random times during the early morning/late evening
- Some other sad looking man with a scar asking him if he would 'like to talk now'
- Being kidnapped before he even gets to start on the muffin he bought
- Big spiders (like those ones that build trap doors and stand on their back legs)
- Having his new favourite jacket ripped up in front of him
- Being hung up on
- Long long queues at the supermarket
- Being slapped repeatedly in the face by the previously mentioned sad looking man
- People thinking you are lying when you are not
- The same people punishing you for lying when you are not lying
- The same people doing so often
- Women with mustaches or beards

I am cold and i am tired and i am hungry and this dank little basement internet cafe is not making me a happy blake and i am also very angry that i will have to buy a new jacket and i am also angry that i am freezing cold and wet and will probably have a cold in the morning because i had to walk in the rain for ages.

This week has not been a good week and at the moment i don't feel like talking about it because it just makes me mad and then sad and then mad again and then tired so i'm just going to go to a cafe and get a hot chocolate and a burger and maybe some fries and a muffin and then find some place safe to sleep so that i can sort out all the rest of this madness.

I have to go now because my time is nearly up and anyway Peter keeps saying this place isn't safe and that the wavelengths from all these computers being so close together is probably relaying all our thoughts up to the giant satellite that compiles all of them and files them so that when the big corporations need to they can send out fears down to us while we are sleeping so that when we wake up in the morning we will want to buy their deodorant or their toothpaste.

I am a tired blake, and i will do my best to update you all soon.

Blake out.

blake's on the case, but he thinks it's a suitcase

So i visited May's mother today while May was at school and the door into the apartment was open so i just walked right in and it was kind of murky and there were a few parts of the ceiling that were dripping somewhat randomly which created a strange kind of music to my ears as i searched for Mrs. Wilmot who it turned out was sleeping.

She looked up for a moment and had a hard time opening her eyes and she smelled a little bit like vodka and whiskey like if you had them in the same glass and she said 'what the feck do you want? You know i payed the rent already,' and i said 'actually my name is Blake Samuels and i was wondering if you could help me find mr. wilmot,' and she said 'bah! that freeloader! when you find him tell him i want to stab him in the eye and pull his intestines out of his mouth and choke him to death with him,' and i said 'ok but i really need to find him to tell him that,' and she said 'GET THE FECK OUT ALREADY!!!' and i said 'please...' but she shouted 'FECK!!!' again and threw and alarm clock at me followed by a pack of cigarettes, and the cigarettes came from a bar nearby so i figured i would go there and snoop around.

I like the word snoop. Sounds detective like.

At the bar there was this old man with sunken eyes and sad look on his face and i asked him if he knew mr wilmot and he nodded at a man near the door and the man closed and locked the door and then the old man said 'did he send you?' and i said 'no sir,' and he said 'you're a bad liar, boy,' and i said 'maybe but right now i'm telling the truth even if i'm telling it badly,' and he said 'funny guy, huh?' and all the time his face never changed and always looked sad and i said 'i'm looking for mr wilmot because he took my client's dog,' and the old man turned to the guy by the door and said 'is that slang for cash or drugs or something?' and the man nodded so the old man said 'well you best find my "dog" too,' and i said 'cool ok i'll ask him about it when i find him but i need some place to get started looking' and the old man pointed me in the direction of a factory mr wilmot used to work out before he vanished.

So i went to the factory and i got the address for mr wilmot's last known residential address but it's a bit far away so i decided it would be best to go tomorrow instead of today.

Back at the office Kris had another a coffee waiting for me and i said 'you bought the coffee i told you about, right?' and she smiled and nodded so i asked, 'and two sugars this time, yeah?' and she smiled and nodded and i took a sip but it was still bad so i said 'maybe next time try three, okay?' and she smiled and nodded and then said 'no calls today,' and i said 'ok' and then went into my office and sat down in my chair and watched the rain for a while.

I'm at least happy i'm getting somewhere, even if i'm tired as a dog.

This detective stuff is really interesting!

Blake out.

it was a cold rainy day, but then again, it always is...

I was drinking another cup of bad coffee when she walked in. Actually, she took me by surprise because i was staring out the window again with my feet up on the desk thinking about how the rain never seems to stop in this city and she said 'you must be Mr Samuels,' and i almost spilled my coffee and i looked over and there was this little girl of about seven years standing in front of me.

So i said 'i am Mr Samuels, yes, but Blake is fine,' and she said 'i saw your advert in the paper,' and i said 'there's an advert in the paper?' and she said 'yes,' and i said '...really?' and she said 'yes,' again so i figured it had to be true so i said, 'and how can i help you today?' and she got a sad look in her eyes and sat down across from me and told me what had happened.

Her name is May, and a few weeks ago her dog went missing. The dog's name is Kasahara, a black female daschund with a love of doughnuts and yellow balls (appalled by blue, apparently). When she had last seen it, her father was taking it to a country farm so it could play with other dogs for a while but she had not seen it since and was beginning to get worried but she didn't live with her dad anymore and didn't know where he lived so couldn't ask him. And so she came to me.

'Ok!!' i said, 'I will find Kasahara for you!' and she said, 'how can i pay you?' and i said 'payment?' and she said 'yes,' and i said, 'oh, right. You pay me to look for stuff, huh?' and she said 'yes,' and i couldn't work out how much i was supposed to charge because i'd never known any detectives so i said 'If you can find a place that sells really good muffins, like a cafe or something, then we can call it even, ok?' and she seemed a bit happier with that and left.

So i walked around in the rain for a while but i couldn't work out where to start looking, and all of a sudden it was dark so i came back here and decided i would work out a plan for tomorrow. I think the first thing to do would be to track down May's dad and ask him, but first i need to find out a little more about him.

Damn, i really should have asked May about that earlier!

This detective stuff is kind of harder than i thought...

Blake out.

Slow work days, like a snail

I don't think anyone really knows that my little office exists at the moment because no one has come in to ask me to do detective stuff for them but then maybe i was just so excited i expected action would be right there when the job started even though realistically speaking this is kind of a silly idea.

My secretary is a really pretty girl and her name is Kris Boone. She doesn't talk much but she seems to know what she's doing because she spent most of yesterday organising all the paperwork i didn't actually know was in my filing cabinet. She also made me a coffee which was really nice of her but unfortunately it was a really bad coffee and i'm still a bit confused as to how she could have gone so wrong in that department.

I went out yesterday afternoon for a bit of a walk and outside it was raining and i thought i would start the search for Tony and Turbo but it occurred to me that i really had no starting clues or any leads to go on so i went to the police station and looked at their message board and talked to the officer behind the counter who was a cute girl with spikyish hair and a really good attitude. There was an older policeman watching me the whole time until i left and when i did finally leave he followed me outside and said 'this our city and we have it under control, you hear me mr private eye? People who put their nose where it's not wanted usually end up with blood noses, you hear? I said, do you hear, mr private dick?' and i said 'of course. I'm not deaf,' and he said 'then make sure you heed my words,' and he left.

I went back to my office and sat around watching the rain for awhile. That's what i've been doing most of today, actually. I fell asleep for a while and woke up when Kris brought me in another coffee, which i finished because i'd feel bad not drinking it and i want us to get off on the right foot.

Nothing is happening, just like yesterday, so i decided i would make a quick update.

Ooh! The door!!!

Damn. It was just someone looking for the dentist, who is a floor above us, according to Kris.

I guess i'll just have to put an ad in the newspaper or something.

Fingers crossed a case comes up soon!

Blake out.

work starts tomorrow!

I got a call from Jane yesterday and i was really happy but then she told me that even though she'd found a secretary work wouldn't start until monday because she gets the weekends off which is fair but i was all psyched up to get started straight away.

It kind of sucks, you know?

Actually i went to bed pretty late and i spent most of today in bed and didn't wake up until a bit after 12. When i woke up i still felt really worn out and it kind of felt like i hadn't slept at all so i had one of those days where i felt tired and worn out but couldn't go back to sleep and didn't feel like doing anything. In the end i just played some guitar and watched some television because i could do both of them at the same time.

Hooboy though am i looking forward to tomorrow!

Hang tight Turbo and Tony! Blake's on the case!

Blake out.

snazzy suits and secretaries

so i bought a snazzy suit yesterday, and i got a call from Jane but it turns out they are still holding some interviews for the secretary position and i asked if maybe i should be there too because i'd be working with the person but jane said that wasn't necessary so i guess all i can do is cross my fingers and hope that the secretary is an easy person to get along with.

I was walking around today in my suit, just to get the feel for it, and i figured i wouldn't wear the tie that i bought. I kind of prefer the collar open look anyway and my goodness ties feel so restricting to wear kind of like a mild suffocation all day and i don't know how people can do it all their lives because i don't know if i could. Still, even without the tie i like to think i am a smart looking guy with this suit on.

Actually though, i'm thinking i might buy just one more, so that if this one gets dirty or maybe even bloodstained(!) or something detective like i have another one i can whip out.

I'm leaning in the direction of pin stripes, but i'm still not really sure yet.

Fingers crossed everything goes well and work starts soon!

Blake out.

How did this happen?

Man yesterday was really busy! This lady rang up yesterday and said she was Mr Figaro's assistant and said she would be over to see me a bit later and i said cool and looked at the clock and it was 7:30 in the morning so i fell asleep again but there was a knocking at my hotel room and i looked at the clock again and it was 7:50 so i dragged myself out of bed and to the door and there was this beautiful red head in a smart looking business suit kind of thing with glasses and she said 'my name is Jane Mary, Mr Figaro's assitant. I called earlier this morning. Now if you'll please put on a shirt we can get started setting you up in town.'

I was a bit powerless to refuse the orders of such a smart looking woman, so i did what she said and all of a sudden we were office shopping. We went to five and Jane did the same thing each time: she walked into the center of it, took in all the details in one look and then shook her head. The sixth one, however, was bingo town!

Bingo town is probably a stupid word, but it means that it was the one we were looking for.

Jane said 'this is your office,' and i said 'ok,' and so then we went around to a bunch of stores and Jane always had a store person walking around with her and when she pointed stuff out the store person would mark it on a piece of paper and then when we were finished everything was dropped off at the building and a bunch of guys were waiting to hoist everything up the stairs and into my office.

By the end of the day i had a full office in front of me, with a desk and a spinning chair with wheels and a small reception area with it's own desk and best of all from my window there is a view of the street below, and it looks a little bit grey and dirty just like in the books i read as a kid! It's totally awesome!

Jane sent me home and said that she'd set up a secretary for me and get my name put on the door and everything but that getting me in the telephone books and such could take some time so she said she'd call me when it was all done and i said 'ok but could you please thank Mr Figaro for me because i'm really grateful for all his help in this,' and she said 'Mr Figaro is a busy man but he knows who to trust to do what and if you're a detective then it means at some point he will most likely require your services and i said, 'cool no worries then'

So now it looks like i will be a detective so long as i do Mr Figaro a favour some day. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal, huh?

So i spent most of today sleeping and then i went to the 14 carrot cafe and had a few beers while i read some more of 1984, which i still haven't finished. No one came in while i was there so it was like being in my own personal jazz bar for a little while. Very cool. I didn't hear from Jane again, but i figure that should happen in the next few days.

Which reminds me, i think i might need to buy a suit or some clothes that seem more suited to my job. I'll have to have a scout around and see if i can find something.

Blake out.

i love living in the city - danko jones

Yesterday i called mr figaro and asked him if he had any jobs for me but he was really busy so he scheduled a meeting for today instead.

So today i met up with him at a restaurant and i said 'thankyou mr figaro for seeing me like this' and he said 'call me ed,' and i said 'ok ed,' and he said 'so lydia said i could trust you and her word is gold but i don't have heaps of time blake so what can i do for you,' so i told him about tony and turbo put part way through the story he got a call on his cellphone so he answered it but wanted me to talk to him at the same time so i told him i was thinking i wanted to look at getting a detective to ask around and he said 'you want to be a detective?! no, not you, this blake guy. What? oh yeah, we can do saturday,' and i said 'no i want to hire a detective. Do you know if one has an office nearby?' and he said 'you want an office too!? no, not you, this blake guy. Yeah. And i bought you an office already, remember? Of course it's in the bahamas. I mean, where else is there?' and i said 'no i think i'll wait until you finish on the phone,' and he said 'fine i'll call you tomorrow and send someone over to sort you out, ok? no not you, this blake guy. What? Oh, you need some sorting out too? How about you wait until we both visit the bahamas, ok? hahaha alright alright, that's not a problem, we can do that too' and he got up and gave me a wink like everything was cool and left.

I was a bit confused but i also wanted to do something with the day so i walked around town for a bit and found a jazz bar called 'the 14 carrot cafe' and it was down some stairs and it is so awesome. There is a sad looking bar tender with a long face and we talked about the jazz music that played at the cafe and it sounds awesome so i'm totally going to come back here at some point in the future, maybe to drown my sorrows to the soundtrack of the blues or something like that.

I am still not sure what is going to happen tomorrow, but hopefully everything works out well!

Blake out.

At the big smoke!

I just checked into my hotel room a little while ago and i must say it's quite nice with it's view of the city (up on the 13th floor i reside!) and it's cozy kind of feeling. I was supposed to leave early in the morning but i was talking to Elliott about the not so successful solo career he had after he left the group he was in. He started out with simple acoustic songs that were nice but kind of amateur sounding (i haven't heard them, but he was adamant), and then released another with the introduction of world wide instruments like the koto and the sitar along with flutes and the such and though it sounded like a good idea at the time it came off sounding a bit chaotic, which at first Elliott didn't like, but then he met a famous shaman and they tripped together and Elliott realised his true musical power animal (a small squirrel type creature of some kind, i can't remember it's name, but it ocassionally ate it's young and did not often live long) and moved into chaotic music styles, settling with electronica. The electronica album bombed hard, and he has found it difficult to secure contracts for future projects.

I told him that when i was richer i would help him, and he said cool, because he had all sorts of ideas for concept albums and he was aching for a chance to get them properly recorded. Awesome, huh?

Anyway i figure i'll stay here for a few days and get in contact with a person Lydia recommended called Edgar R. Figaro and see if he can secure me a job or something. Actually i wanted to talk to him today but i'm feeling a bit worn out and tired from all the driving so i figure the best course of action might be to have a big dinner (i feel like eating curry) and then go to sleep early and wake up fully powered up for tomorrow's events.

Actually, maybe it might be worth giving Edgar a call now just to let him know i'm in town.

Blake out.

pancakes and muffins and music!

Actually i was supposed to get there today but i the pancakes i had this morning were so incredible that i decided to spend another night here so i could eat them again tomorrow. I feel a little bad because Tony and Turbo are out there somewhere maybe possibly probably not waiting for me to save them but i mean if you ate these pancakes you would totally know where i am coming from because oh man they taste so great it's like they are the most perfect pancakes you have ever eaten.

Maybe it's that i haven't eaten pancakes in a while, i'm not sure. It's a possibility, for sure, but also they have muffins here and i had a choc chip one with my lunch today and that was fantastic too and i think i may have found the perfect place for getting away from the world for a little while. It's called 'Morning Bell' and i jotted the name down on a new list i started only today in my notebook and the list is called 'Places i totally have to go to again'

So the owner of the place, Elliott, was telling me that he used to play for a band and they toured the states and lost a drummer to drugs before finding another one they lost to a crazy kama sutra expert groupie and then they just got a drum track that played through a computer which ended up short cicuiting mid gig and repeating a section of a sound sample from the start of one of their tracks so they were left being booed by the crowd while the speakers kept on saying 'alone in the dreamer's pocket' over and over again so they ditched drums altogether and recorded an acoustic album and it actually did really well for a little while but they missed the rock and roll lifestyle, so they found a semi permanent drummer and recorded an experimental album full of concepts and ideas that flopped hard because everyone said it was too drums heavy which resulted in the bass player getting into an argument with the drummer which in turn resulted in the drummer breaking his lucky right leg and by that time everyone thought it was probably time to pack it up anyway.

Elliott played me a song from the last album called 'a dreamer dreaming the dreamer's dreams' and i actually found it really cool and i told him and he gave me an album for free because it turns out he has lots of them. It's totally awesome!!!

One of these days i really have to join a band and go touring! Maybe i can try and slot that in somewhere before the becoming a detective part.

But what sort of music do i want to play? Food for thought, i think!

Blake out.

right where it belongs - nine inch nails

Last night i showed the ghost girl the necklace while we were both sitting down, and she got all excited and after a minute i finally understood and i put it on the floor in front of her, and i asked her a question i already knew the answer to which was 'it's yours, isn't it?' and she nodded and i saw relief and happiness flood through her sad face and i said 'that means your name... is Ayla,' and she nodded again and it was as though a great weight had been lifted from her and i thought that maybe she had been here so long she had forgotten her own name and maybe all along she had been waiting for someone to come back to tell her but that someone had never come.

If only for a brief instant it was as though the planes of reality we existed on merged because she picked up the necklace and put it on and she hugged me and it was freezing cold but full of warmth and i could have sworn i heard her say 'thankyou,' in a voice that somehow reminded me of Relm and then she smiled at me in such a way that i thought that maybe things would work out and then all of a sudden it was early morning and i was awake. It all felt so distant and faraway and i couldn't tell if it had really happened but i think maybe that's for the best anyway.

I hope you stay well Ayla, wherever you go and whatever you do!

The cottage felt empty this morning so i made my decision to leave and i packed up all my stuff and went to the car and as i was putting all my stuff in the whole cottage just collapsed on itself so i guess maybe my timing was good. I took one more walk to the field and i found Terry and Andy looking at some plans and i asked them what was up and Terry said 'We're going to make this singular pool idea of yours into a real business venture because i think it's a fantastic idea! You got us well and truly started so now all we need to do is fill in these holes some with tiles or something and make some more and i think we'll be set! Oh the money my friend! The money in it all!' and i said 'didn't you come here to get away from people?' and he said, 'don't make me slap you boy. Not while i'm on this massive happiness high,' and i said ok and good luck and i went back to my car.

I'm staying in a nice little motel at the moment and i had a schnitzel for dinner with chips and a salad and then some ice cream afterwards. I realised while i was eating that i had completely forgotten about Tony and Turbo, so i have to make sure that when i get to the next city (The big smoke!) i ask around and find out where they are. I hope they are ok, in any case.

Blake out.

we're in this together - nine inch nails

Early this morning i asked the ghost girl if she knew what it was that was going on but it was strange because it was like she couldn't hear me anymore because it seemed she could hear me but nothing i said was getting through to her, so we sat around in silence for most of the evening and i felt a little better about playing my guitar in front of her. I wrote a song that i thought sound really lovely and i was going to call it 'my little ghost girl' and even though it was just music and no words i was really happy with it but i woke up and i'd forgotten it which made me a bit sad.

I spent all day out in the sun just digging and i wasn't really thinking about anything and late in the afternoon i sat in one of the holes all sweaty and something in the dirt caught my eye so i dug at it and i found a necklace that had a beautiful kind of pattern on it i can't really explain and there was an engraving in it that was really small so i had to climb out of the hole and get some sun on it to read it properly but it said 'all my love for you, Ayla,' and something about it made me sad, and i surveyed all my holes and i realised that i simply didn't feel like digging anymore.

I went to Andy's shop and Andy said 'done yet?' and i said 'yep,' and he said 'hooboy! When we get to fill it with water?' and i said 'not it, Andy, them,' and he said 'what do you mean?' so i took him out into the field with the holes and he said 'what's this?' and i explained to him that i had read in a magazine that there was this new thing coming in that was personalised pools and people were really digging it because they could just sit there soaking in the water and bathing in the sun and not worry about other people getting in their way and they could keep drinks and reading materials all close like for convenience and Andy spent a long time looking at the holes saying nothing and i was worried he was going to get mad but he said 'oh my friend you wait till i tell Terry he's going to flip! this is the best thing ever! oh my god how can i repay you my friend?' but i told him not to worry about it because i just felt like digging my way to some sort of goal for somebody.

When i got back to the cottage i put some acoustic alchemy on and i lay on the floor and stared at the ceiling and my whole body was so heavy i felt like maybe i would never move again but i closed my eyes and i didn't fall asleep so for a long time i just let the music go through one ear and out the other and my mind felt empty and light and everything just seemed to be ok for the while.

I wonder how the days pass for the ghost girl, in that empty nothingness that eats up her day? I wonder how many nights she has gone without company? I would like to give her this necklace i found but it makes me sad that she could never wear it.

Maybe she will appreciate the gesture anyway.

Blake out.

closer - nine inch nails

Terry was wearing a hawaiian shirt today and a grin that was as big as a mountain or maybe just a little bit bigger and he said 'how's that pool coming along?' and i said 'pretty good, though it is not a pool in a conventional sense,' and he said 'how do you mean?' and i said, 'well terry it's kind of a surprise you know? But i think you'll like it,' and he said 'ah i remember the day my wife surprised me with another man. That was on our twenty seventh anniversary and i can tell you now that i have never ever wanted to hit a woman so hard in my whole life. I had trimmed my beard all nice like and was wearing my best safari suit and i had some roses and some dark chocolate because i knew she liked it and all of a sudden there was this other guy and it all went straight to hell in a freight train and i said that he could take her but he had to leave me an eye or an ear and it got a bit messy so now i work a little shop in the middle of nowhere all peaceful like and free from anything really damaging to my aura, you know?' and i said, 'i think so, yes.'

I think i have finally reached my maximum amount of holes now. I'm not exactly sure why but i started another one today and i had no desire to start anymore because everything just seems to be about right now and i can feel that i am getting a bit closer and i feel that in the next few days something is going to happen.

I did slack off a bit today and just lay around soaking up the sun for awhile and thinking about nothing in particular. I don't know why but a strange memory popped it's way into my head out of nowhere and it surprised me that i had forgotten because it meant a lot to me when it happened. You see, when i was like seven years old i had a spider-man umbrella and i really loved it and took it with me to play on rainy days because it was the only spider-man thing i had and one day i dropped it and the wind took it and it went into a river and i never saw it again and for days i was the saddest person in the whole entire world because i didn't have my umbrella.

Sometimes it is the little things that mean the most but it's even stranger that the even the things that mean the most can sometimes just up and disappear from our memories as though they never even happened, you know?

The ghost girl again seemed distant last night for the short time that i saw her (i can't seem to keep my eyes open past two am, and she turns up around oneish i've come to notice) but she seemed a little brighter at the same time, and i couldn't help but think that maybe on her plane of existence maybe there were fireworks or one of those aurora borealis things that always seem really awesome on the television. Somehow i think my being around the place has made her closer to this world at the same time as being pushed further from it, although i am not sure if that really makes sense or not.

Is this a good or a bad thing?

Blake out.

the line begins to blur - nine inch nails

I started another three holes today, because i felt the ones i've been doing haven't really been getting me anywhere. This is not to say that i'll stop digging them but i think that the more i spread myself around the field the more the world of the field will open up to me. Actually, you know, i'm not entirely sure what that sentence means but it kind of slipped out of me so maybe it's important.

The ghost girl and i talked for a little while last night, which is to say that i talked to her about holidays i had been on and people i had met and i even tried to play some guitar for her which she seemed polite enough to at least pretend to enjoy, which is better than nothing, i think. Anyway, she seemed a bit distant last night, and i had some trouble getting her attention. It was like maybe on her plane of existence something was happening that she could see but i couldn't.

Instead of getting straight into the digging today i went for a walk past the big field and i found a few ramshackle cottages that had indeed seen better days and i went and had a look in them. There wasn't really anything of any importance in there, but i did find an old book that was falling to pieces and inside it were some fading drawings that a child must have done a really long time ago. Somehow i felt like i recognised some of the pictures so i took the book outside but the wind was so strong it simply ripped the pages of the book straight out of it and took them further and further away until i couldn't see them. That was a bit of a pity.

Digging today felt better than the other days, even if i haven't found anything yet. A few of the holes are actually as deep as i am, which i must say i am a little proud of because i have never dug a hole that deep before. I stood up and surveyed my work today and was a little sad that the beauty of the field had been a little ruined by my digging, and i thought it was a pity that i would be ruining it a little more when i started up more holes, but at the same time i knew it had to happen because it isn't like i can just stop digging, is it?

I was thinking today that i was supposed to be doing something instead of digging, but as hard as i tried i couldn't remember what it was. I'm sure once i finish digging i'll remember though. It is probably not all that surprising that i have forgotten. Digging is tough work, you know?

Blake out.

even deeper - nine inch nails

Last night the ghost girl turned up and i told her i had started digging in the big field, and she smiled her sad smile and i imagined that maybe a long time ago that smile would have been filled with a genuine kind of happiness or that maybe there was more to it than a distant longing feeling and a sea of emptiness.

Of course, as was expected, i feel asleep before we could really get to talking, but at least it is nice to know that she seems happy about my digging project.

I slept until midday and then went straight out to the field and worked on the holes as well as starting another two. It was quite sunny today so a bit after three i was really hot and sweaty so i went over to Andy's and there was a different old guy behind the counter who wore a cap and i said 'where's Andy?' and he said 'Andy went off to buy some pool supplies,' and i said 'oh,' and he said 'i'm his brother, Terry. You the boy digging it for us?' and i said 'yes sir i do think so,' and he said 'ah, the youth of today is so different to the youth of my day, my young friend. Even with all the sexually transmitted diseases you are carrying around and the bad lungs from all the smoking and the bad liver from all the drinking and the bad brain from all the drugs and acid and whatnot, you still have the energy and the will to dig two old men a pool in a field in the middle of nowhere. You seem like a stand up guy. Grab yourself a couple of drinks, and don't you worry about the cost today. Old Terry's got you covered.'

I finished up around seven and then trekked back to the cottage. Nothing really came of today's digging, but fingers crossed that tomorrow shows some more progress. I like to think now that all the holes are just a little bit deeper than they were yesterday, and i hope that tomorrow will show similar results. At some point i imagine the digging will stop, but for now, i have to say it is a great shoulder workout, although i may have to be careful about my back in future, because i think prolonged digging can injure it somehow, and i really like being able to stand up and walk and all that kind of stuff.

Ah. Even if the days are straight forward and boring, there is a joy in simply going out and doing something interesting every day, i think.

Blake out.