(Is anyone still here?)

I should apologise.

I'm sorry guys.

I don't know if anyone reads this anymore, but i figure i should tell you all what has gone down in the last year or so.

I met this girl when i got home called Clarice, and i thought i fell in love with her because i couldn't seem to think of anything else but her and every time she looked at me i got all funny and embarrassed and my words got all mixed up and i couldn't seem to function properly, but even then she seemed to like me too so we went out a few times for coffee and whatnot and suddenly we were dating and she wanted me to go with her to some mountain lodge that she went to every year.

So of course i said yes because who doesn't want to chill out at some mountain lodge for a holiday and besides i really dug this girl like you wouldn't believe, but funnily enough when we got to the lodge she kind of vanished and i got given some kind of plain cotton clothes and a room key and was told that everyone was gathering at 8 for dinner and worship and i figure, 'well, whatever, let's see where it goes,' and i go to my room and put on my new clothes and chill out for a while.

Actually though dinner sucked and they didn't even have the internet at the mountain lodge and no one would let me go home. Everyone was all like, 'you don't want to go back,' and i'm all 'the hell i don't,' and then they'd say, 'it's all full of idiots and morons and as soon as our forces have built to the grand number we will have them destroyed so we may once again reign the earth as we had centuries ago in the unwritten past,' and how does a guy reply to that anyway? So i figured it really wasn't going to go all that great for me, but up so high in the mountains i didn't really have any choice but to wait, so wait i did.

Clarice, it turned out, was one of the recruitment agents of this group, and you know it's funny but all the time i was there it was like if she'd have asked me to walk into a wall or eat an ice-cream cake through my nose i totally would have done it because she just had these eyes and this look and i mean her body was smoking hot too and you just wanted to believe anything she said but now that she didn't talk to me or even look at me i guess i just kind of got dropped from cloud nine straight back to earth. The fall was kind of painful, too.

Anyway, i couldn't read anything but the books of the unwritten past, because the library didn't have any other books, and no one would listen to me when i told them that as soon as they were printed and bound they became the books of the now written past, but by this time less people were talking and more people were just kind of sitting around with kind of sad and lonely eyes as though something important had been ripped from their hands. So i just sat around reading these books of the unwritten past and eventually because i knew so much about it i became a librarian at the lodge, which saved me from getting the 'inner-sight', which as far as i could tell would just give me sad and lonely eyes and steal away something important from me.

So anyway, being a librarian meant that i could order stock, and ordering stock meant that i would have to have contact with the outside world once a week, and i met this guy called Dashiell and he and i would sit around and smoke stuff we shouldn't and shoot the breeze until i had to go back to work, and so that became my kind of weekly routine: reading books and lending books out and ordering stock and hanging out with Dashiell.

It was a pretty good escape for a while, even if everything around me was getting kind of weird and intense.

Anyway, i better cut it short here because Turbo is looking like he wants to go for a walk, and i'm thinking maybe we could go to the beach and hang out.

Blake out.

So i know a guy who's been on hoiday....

You see i think the thing i like best about being on holiday is that there is never any pressure to do anything. Unless you are married to a woman like my uncle's wife who would plan out in great detail all these different things they would do when on holiday like nature walks and kayaking and night time hikes and morning bus tours and my uncle would say things like, 'dammit blake one day i am going to throttle that woman!' or 'blake the best holidays are the ones when she goes alone and i get left on the couch with a cigar with the good reverend jack'

So i am sorry i did not tell any of you i was going on holiday but the last two weeks have been a kind of rollercoaster ride where the the rollercoaster goes off a jump and disconnects from the tracks but lands safely on the ground and slides further until it reaches the highway and snags onto a truck which drags it along some before launching it off the highway and onto an ice rink and then finally onto the cool grass and i get off and i'm on a beautiful tropical island where a woman brings me a drink in a coconut and a hawaiian shirt and i sit under a palm tree enjoying the sun.

Actually though i am on a tropical island right now but i'm not allowed to tell you guys where because it's a security issue and Jane thinks it best i stay 'off the radar' for a while.

The trouble started when i found Tony and Turbo (Woo!!!) but of course they were underground in a kind of facility i had never seen before and i had to dress up like a guard to get in there and say tough things like 'yeah i hit him in the face. So hard in fact i hit him again' and then i got Tony and Turbo out but then the alarm went off and it turned out there was another intruder and everybody was in a rush and in all the hustle and bustle tony and i stumbled into what i was later told was a drug laboratory and we accidentally set it on fire and that in turn led to the whole facility exploding.

Actually the person who broke in was none other than the beautiful red head who's name is Cayce and in fact it is a bit strange because she was the one who hired me to find Tony and Turbo in the first place because she believed them to hold valuable information on the whereabouts of one of her agents.

It's all a bit complicated but i will try to keep you guys informed over the next few days.

Right now i think i will go for a swim!

Blake out.

the continuing story of bungalow bill - the beatles

I checked out an office with Jane today and she said 'this is the one' and i said, 'cool' because i knew i wasn't going to change her mind because she's like that. While we were on our way to the office actually, my phone rang and i answered it and it was her but she was sitting right in front of me and she said, 'i just wanted to make sure you're carrying it with you because we've invested in you and we need it to pay off!'

Anyway, i promised i would finish off my story, right?

So on thursday Peter and i went to 'for blue hearts' and sure enough there was a brown car there and we waited until it took off and we followed it but then out of nowhere these three black sedans pulled up behind it and in front of us and suddenly some police cars came up behind our volkswagen with their lights blaring and the brown car sped up so everyone else did and i saw a white van driving along side of us and in it was the sad looking man who had slapped me all that time ago while i was tied to that chair and he was talking into a walkie talkie but i lost track of him because two helicopters came from high above with men in them firing guns at the police and we were all speeding along with the black cars firing at the police and the helicopter and the police firing at the helicopter and us stuck in the middle. A car in front of us spun out and flipped right over us onto a police car and one of the helicopters exploded and then i noticed two other identical brown cars pulled along side of the first one and weaved in and out with each other and then turned off in different directions and so we all split off in search of a different car all hoping it was the right one.

Wow.

I promise i will never write big paragraphs like that again.

Anyway our car came to a halt behind the brown one at what appeared to be a small gas station on the edge of town and Peter was unconscious from all the crazy driving so i ran inside and found in the office a filing cabinet that had been pushed over to reveal a small staircase down into a massive basement computer room in which a man was rapidly clicking on a mouse button and he saw me and pushed his glasses up and said 'haha! you'll never get it! not anymore!' and i said, 'get what?' but i never got to answer because another voice said, 'hold it!' and it was the sad looking man and two cronies looking a little dirty and angry and they said, 'mr wilmot you'll come with us now,' and i said, 'mr wilmot?' but i didn't get an answer to that either because then another voice said, 'HOLD IT!' and it was palazzo and two cronies and they also looked a bit dirty and angry and he said, 'wilmot comes with us,' and i said, 'like kasahara wilmot?' but because everyone was pointing guns at each other and looking angry no one heard me, but then there was this sound upstairs and these two canisters fell down into the room and started releasing this gas and everyone was coughing and i heard some guns go off and someone gave me a gas mask but i couldn't see and i was crying and it took some time before i could recover.

Whoops.

It seems i did it again.

In any case when the gas cleared all these men in shirts and ties were carrying everybody out and the beautiful red head was smiling at me and she said, 'thankyou blake,' and i said, 'thankyou for what?' and she said they were trying to organise a big bust for the sad looking man and palazzo and wilmot too was working for some agency he wasn't aware of and they couldn't have done it without me but i really needed to see wilmot so i said, 'where's wilmot?' and she pointed to a corner where he was sitting looking uncomfortable and i said, 'mr wilmot,' but he didn't hear me so i said, 'mr wilmot this is important,' and he still didn't answer so i slapped him across the face and grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him towards me and said, 'enough! Where's kasahara!?' and he said, 'what?' and i said, 'the dog man! Where is it?' and he said, 'oh no! kasahara! I left her at the dog hotel. It's called 'happy happy holidays'' and i let go of him and left even though the red head was calling my name.

I wish i had stopped for the red head now but i was a man on a mission and my mission was uncomplete. I felt bad for may and wanted to make sure everything was seen to asap.

So then on friday i went to happy happy holidays and found out they'd given kasahara to a local animal shelter because she hadn't been picked up so i went there and found her and got her out and brought her to May and May gave me some cookies as a reward and that made me really happy and i went back to Peter's place and fell asleep because it felt like i hadn't slept in ages.

Then on saturday i contacted Jane and told her what was going on and she started all the preparations for a new place and such.

It feels good to finally have that all out for you guys to see.

Now i'm going to eat a cookie and relax for a while!

Blake out.

feet up, time to relax(?), case closed!!!

Well everyone can relax because at last Kasahara has been found!

Hooray!

To be honest though, i have a strange feeling about what happened over the last few days that has me feeling a little bit on the paranoid side. I told Peter about it but he just shrugged it off and said that often when people exist in two universes at the same time this sort of thing happens and it is similar to deja vu in that you feel you have done something before because you have in that other universe and i told him it was a little bit different to that and he explained that it must mean my experiences in rapidly moving from the past to the present and the future at speeds so quick i didn't even realise it was happening must have left me with a sort of bizarre jet lag.

Maybe he is right.

Or maybe it is the hotdogs i buy every time i visit this dingy little internet cafe.

In any case, on wednesday i had Peter dress up in one of my suits and i loaned him my jacket and then we went out and i bought a sharp black suit (Oh man it is sooooo cool!) and some nice looking sunglasses and then we headed straight to an alleyway across the road from my office in Peter's old volkswagen. As soon as Kris came out Peter ran over to her and the people who were watching her all rushed at him so i rushed in with them and grabbed Kris while Peter shouted all sorts of angry things and threw handfuls of rocks that we put in his pockets. In the confusion i managed to get Kris away because everyone thought that i too was a sharply dressed bad guy.

After convincing Kris i was blake and not some bad guy we ran down the alleyway towards Peter's car and there was this almighty bang and we turned to look and it was my office and it had exploded and it seemed so unreal but i had to get Kris away still so we jumped in the car. Then we met up again with Peter who was huffing and puffing but happy all the same and we went to his little ramshackle apartment where Kris insisted on making everyone coffee that didn't end up tasting too good.

Then we realised there was a letter taped to Peter's television and it said that we should go to 'For Blue Hearts' tomorrow at one thirty and follow the brown car and there was a kiss mark on this one too so i told the guys we should trust it because the kiss mark had also resulted in Kris being saved.

Oh darn, that's Jane calling me on my brand new mobile phone. She insisted i carry one with me because the office blew up and she couldn't get in contact with me and was worried sick about me and Kris. She's been busy looking at new offices for me today.

Anyway, i better take this call, but i'll fill you in on the rest soon!

Blake out.

a quick recap before the hunt begins

This will have to be quick as the internet cafe man says i don't have all that much time and even though i said 'but i paid you your money', he said, 'well you didn't pay me enough' and even though i know i did i really don't feel like dealing with him at the moment because there are other bigger and more important things for me to be doing.

saturday...

palazzo came in for his meeting and i knew what i had to do. As soon as he went to the toilet (which was somewhere after his third beer) i got gestahl from behind the counter and went to the toilet. Then i found the cubicle palazzo was in and slipped the bottle under the door and in as gruff a voice as i could manage said, 'you will tell me what i want to know and i will not allow this super mega seven different types of poison spider out of it's bottle and onto your face,' and he was quick to tell me about the person he was meeting. Apparently, he works for a group that is also trying to find Mr Wilmot and apparently they have some information on a pesky detective that has been snooping around some though he has dropped off their radar recently although they still have his secretary under close but secretive scrutiny, but he doesn't know anything about where mr wilmot is now. He was breathing quite heavy and was super scared and i felt a bit bad so i said in my gruff voice, 'thankyou for your help, we will take it from here.'

I went back out with gestahl and put him behind the counter and when i turned back around the person who was meeting with palazzo was unconscious and all his henchman were bruised and bleeding and without teeth and i found Jimmy behind the counter with a black eye and i gently shook him awake and he leapt away from me when he saw me because he thought i was someone else and said 'don't touch me!' and i said, 'it's cool jimmy it's me,' and he said, 'look blake we are pals and all but if you bring in people like that red haired ninja again then we will have to talk,' and it was weird because jimmy is a tough guy you know? Anyway, one of the henchmen was holding a note and it was all crumpled but it said, warehouse six on the pier, monday night, 11:30 and there was a kiss mark on it that was dark red in colour.

sunday...

Peter insisted on my going with him to visit a friend of his who has for a long time supplied weapons for the resistance and who has also fought in many of the most important battles of the underground. The guy was stick thin and wore a camo headband and had a long scraggly beard and had a cigarette dangling out of his mouth and he took one look at me and said to Peter 'ain't givin' a weapon to a muffin bot,' and Peter said, 'he's been reprogrammed Scmidt,' and Schmidt said, 'ain't givin' a weapon to a muffin bot Pete,' and Peter said, 'look i know one took your leg but you know i'm good for it Scmidt because you know what sort of work i'm doing and why i'm doing it and where i'm doing it and when i did it in the past as well as how it was being done and where i was doing it and why i was doing it as well as the work i am doing in the future that affects the immediate past and why i need to be doing that, so please Schmidt, i'm begging you,' and Schmidt said, 'when you put it like that...'

So now i have a forcefield protector device in the shape of a rounded stone that i am to keep on me at all times because Shmidt still didn't want to give me a weapon although Peter assures me that will be all i'll need.

monday...

I spent some time trying to track down the man palazzo was meeting but Jimmy didn't have any info on them and all the places i went to didn't give me anything to go on so i kind of wasted the day away although at least i got to eat a muffin at a nice cafe somewhere down a sidestreet.

At 11:30 i went to the warehouse and it was dark and i slipped in and all i could hear was the rain pounding down on the roof and then there was a cold metal feeling at the back of my neck and a female's voice whispered in my ear, 'your secretary is in danger. You need to get to her as soon as possible,' and i said, 'tomorrow?' and she said, 'wednesday, noon,' and i said why not tomorrow?' and she said, 'i can't say,' and then she pulled the trigger and there was a sharp pain through my body and then i woke up and it was today at around two in the afternoon and i was in an alleyway right near peter's little ramshackle house and i felt a bit strange and i had a bit of a headache but otherwise i was ok so i went to the internet cafe and now here i am.

tomorrow...?

Off to rescue Kris and return a lost dog!!!

Blake out.

one step at a time on the trail for friends

I met a guy in the bar on Wednesday (the bar is called 'For Blue Hearts') and he told me that if i ever needed someone taken care of then he was the guy, and he gave me his business card which is pretty cool so i might give him a call next time my mum wants a day all for herself on her birthday or something like that because i think she'd really like a day where everything she wants is taken care of and all she has to do is lie around and be lazy.

That girl with the red hair hasn't come in since i saw on Tuesday so i guess it's lucky i haven't been looking out for her otherwise i would have been disappointed that she hadn't turned up to electrify me with those amazing eyes of hers that seemed to chill me to the very centre of my being.

In any case, i struck up conversation with the barman and he seems like a cool guy. His name is Jimmy Plant and he's been working behind the bar since the old guy who worked behind the bar before him was stabbed in a vicious argument over the price of two pints. Jimmy says that the only reason he hasn't been stabbed yet is because on his first day he did the stabbing. He says that although the jail time wasn't all that great, it was worth it for the peace and quiet he has in the bar now. He loaned me a big clear beer bottle and i caught this massive spider in it and we decided to call in Gestahl. It's really cool!

Yesterday i went back to the office but Kris is still under the watchful eye of those men and i do not think it would be wise to try anything against them at this point in time. Peter tells me they are an interplanetary group of mercenaries, hired by various planets to source out people with high enery levels who are then drained of their energy and left to live out the rest of their lives as extras in television shows becase, as Peter explained, the extras in television shows are always lacking the brightness of the stars. The energy powers a giant machine the purpose of which no one is completely sure of, though they know better than to keep it underpowered.

Either way, even if i have a space laser mega cannon i still don't want to run into them.

That old cop came in to the bar today while i was in a booth staring at the rain and i hid under my jacket and fortunately he didn't see me. Turns out his name is Palazzo, and he has a meeting here tomorrow with somebody i've never heard of and he just wanted to scope the joint out a day before so as not to be caught by surprise. Jimmy said that his bar holds no surprises, only liquor, and Palazzo said he didn't believe Jimmy and that made Jimmy really mad but Palazzo just laughed and walked out into the rain and pushed someone into a puddle on his way down the street.

It looks like staking this place out was a good idea after all...

Though i do wonder where that red haired girl might have gotten to...?

Blake out.

the sneaky life of the sneaky detective

I slipped out early on monday morning to the office to see if i could get in contact with Kris but it would seem that i cannot as she is being watched by the group i suspect may have kidnapped me a little while ago. I watched them, hidden in a dark alley behind my new jacket, as they watched her from behind their newspapers and their sunglasses.

It felt very detective!

At the moment i feel it is best not to get in contact with Jane as this is probably a situation i can deal with by myself and besides this also seems a bit like the sort of work a detective in a cold rainy city like this one should be used to even if he doesn't like it.

I went to mr wilmot's house and it was deserted. the door had been kicked in and everything had been turned upside down. I wandered around the mess and got myself a glass of water and stood in the kitchen wondering what to do next when i heard some people talking and getting closer to the apartment so i quickly ran into a closet in the bedroom and waited and two people came into the house and started talking.

One of them said, 'You find him yet?' and the other older one said, 'you can see we turned the place upside down can't you?' and the first one replied, 'that wasn't my question,' and the older one said, '...no. No we haven't found him. Have found any feckin' clues whatsoever,' and the first one said, 'well you better hurry, because we don't like...' and the old one cut him off and said, 'i know what you don't like and i told ya i'd find him didn't i? We'll find him, you hear?' and then there was a pause and the old one said, '...could you... could you crush that for me?' and the first one said 'crush what?' and the old one made some sounds that were kind of high pitched and the first one said, 'why that's just a spider, you stupid git,' and the old one said, 'i don't care just get it the feck out of my face and let me get back to the search!' and the first one said, 'cool your head old man, don't want the other officers thinking you had a heart attack on routine patrol do we?' and the old one shouted 'GET IT OUT OF MY SITE, YOU HEAR!?'

and that was when i realised it was the old police officer from the other day who told me to watch out for my blood noses, which seemed strange to me.

I waited a good fifteen minutes after they left but when i tried to get out of the closet the door was jammed so i had to force it and when it opened the roof in the closet space collapsed and a bunch of papers fell on me as well as a box with some documents in it. While i gathered them all together i found a match book for a bar that wasn't far from Peter's place so i put it in my pocket and returned with everything to regroup and plan my next steps.

Today i went to the bar and it seemed nice enough, with pictures on the wall of old movie stars and a nice big selection of liquor on the back wall from all over the world. I spent most of the day just sitting at a booth and staring out at the rain, waiting and staking the place out for people or clues to come walking my way. At around five pm a girl came in and she wore a beautiful black long jacket and she had long red hair and she talked to the bar keeper in hushed tones and then waited as he left for a moment and came back with a package which he gave to her which i pretended not to see.

As she was leaving our eyes met momentarily and i felt as though i had been struck by lightning because her eyes seemed to knock me flat on my back they were so powerful and all of a sudden i felt like she knew everything i had been doing and she smiled to herself and left like it was just another day at the office and i just sat around for a little while trying to work out what had just happened.

Unfortunately the bar closed early tonight, though the barkeep assured me that tomorrow night they would be open longer so i guess i'll just have to stake the place out some more because this is the only lead i have.

And it's not because of the girl with the red hair, if that's what you're thinking.

It's for work.

Definitely not about that girl.

No way is she my focus.

It's all about Kasahara.

Really.

Blake out.